Monday, 13 August 2012


Its been a while i'm not the 'blogging'  type although i am trying, i think i am worried/scared of letting my inner feelings out allowing all and sundry to read them.
I've just read my daughters blog and it has got me thinking, it doesn't seem that long ago that i too was on a learning curve, one that just had me wanting to know more and more,  i trained and became a Crystal Therapist, i became a Reiki Master over many years,  i learnt many ways of the Native American Indians,  have walked a Pagan path for as long as i can remember,  although at the time i didn't really realize what it was, that came later.
I even learnt Self Hypnosis and for many years i felt 'almost' complete.   I say 'almost' as there has always been a missing link ~ one that even now i don't know what it is.
All this disappeared with the loss of my late husband, it was as if everything had been taken away from me ~ indeed it had, all that i had learnt was gone nothing had a meaning, nothing at all my whole world had fallen apart.
It's now four years on.   My crystals are still wrapped up not being used, after all they were my 'work' tools,  there are only a few  left out and i don't feel that i resonate with any of them,  however, i still wear my crystal pendants from time to time.
Gaia energy is 'my friend'  its the one energy that i feel has stayed close,  i feel as if i have been deserted by all my other 'beliefs' and i am still searching for that missing link.
Maybe, just maybe,  watching the path my daughter is now walking may awaken something within me...perhaps leading me to my own new path.


Charis said...

Mum I would absolutely love it if something that I do, I learn or encounter, sparks something within you and brings you back to (almost) being complete.
I don't believe that everything deserted you, I think that in your grief you have been unable to connect to any of your beliefs & struggle to see how they have any relevance to you anymore.
I have felt so lost & disconnected but realised that the blogs that appeared in front of me were trying to tell me something, to point me on a path. they stirred something.
Being your daughter I almost have to laugh at our similarities.. my new path is about gaia herself I guess.. learning about the lunar cycle and the effect that the moon has, doing an OU course on the environment, energy, ecosystems & human impact. And of course, learning more about crystals as I feel called more & more to use them in my jewellery.
I've started practicing tiny rituals.. I feed the birds with bird seed or bread most mornings, I pray to the Universe most nights.. little steps that will make a huge difference.
We can walk the path together mum until you feel ready to go your own way x

Sylvia x said...

wow what a heartfelt piece..bless you Jay and your beautiful daughter. With her by your side you will find the missing link (or as your daughter says mis-placed). Small steps begin a journey and I hope that it will be a good one for you all.

Take care Jay - your faith will guide you

Love and hugs

Sylvia xx (aka crafty and mad from trimmie)